Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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