whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
