I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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