I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
