Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
