Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
