Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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