I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
