just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
