He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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