i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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