Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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