how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
