you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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