yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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