How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I got chris browned last night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
