this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
