OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Shame - the story of my life.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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