Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
