Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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