you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
