put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
