Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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