So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
