After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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