He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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