Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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