I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
