I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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