How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
