While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize