You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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