Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Duck Duck Cougar?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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