winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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