You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
