I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
