What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
