why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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