Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
