The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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