glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
