apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My penis needs a shock collar
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
