I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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