I threw up into my coffee this morning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
