maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
sex in a hospital.. check
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
