it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
