Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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