I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize