so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
