marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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