Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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