i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
