Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
